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Welcome to Operation Reach B.L.A.C.K.

Operation Reach B.L.A.C.K. is a Pan-African Blog with an acronym that stands for Building Leadership Awareness and Cultural Knowledge.

The goal of this blog is to become a "Blog of Black Thought" focusing on matters of social, economic and political awareness through education (re-education), self-affirmation and cultural expression. Above all, this blog will DEMAND respect and appreciation for one another as black men and women.

In addition to this blog, I am also a member of the team over at Jack and Jill Politics. Be sure to swing by and check me out!

Got something to say? Feel free to visit and comment on past posts or Email me at: reachblackblog@gmail.com

Be Somebody

B-Serious

Words of Wisdom

“[T]rust your experience. Know whence you came. If you know whence you came, there is really no limit to where you can go. The details and symbols of your life have been deliberately constructed to make you believe what [other] people say about you. Please try to remember that what they believe, as well as what they do and cause you to endure, does not testify to your inferiority but to their inhumanity and fear. . .[T]here is no basis whatever for their impertinent assumption that they must accept you. The really terrible thing, old buddy, is that you must accept them. And I mean that very seriously. You must accept them and accept them with love. . . . We cannot be free until they are free.”

(James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Chicago 2016? Obamas make Olympic Push

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy



UPDATE: Sorry folks. . . No Olympics for Chicago in 2016. Congrats to Rio de Janeiro
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Who does he think he is . . . The President?: Obama's impact on "masculinity" and "power" in American culture



Following up on my past article, "Oh, the Possibilities . . . Obama and Black Men," I maintain that one of the greatest impacts Obama's election will have is, at a minimum, the beginning of a redefinition of "masculinity" in America. We are talking about the juxtaposition of "power" with black skin. . . we are talking about the juxtaposition of authority with black skin.

And some people just can't handle that fact. The following op-ed gets to the point:

There are many Americans for whom the image of a well-educated, articulate, African-American man running the country simply does not fit into the worldview with which they grew up and are comfortable and familiar. When the emotions aroused by that disconcerting fact are combined with legitimate political differences, their behavior has transgressed the boundaries of civil discussion and rational debate and become something much uglier. Comparing the president to a monkey, irrationally questioning his citizenship, calling for him to be ''shipped back to Africa,'' carrying signs that call for the elimination of ''Obama, Michelle, and their ugly daughters,'' keeping kids home from school so they won't have to hear the president's speech to schoolchildren -- these are not rational responses to the important policy differences that require vigorous and thoughtful debate. These are the voices of people who are having a difficult time realizing that their assumptions about the natural order of things aren't working anymore, a realization that makes them profoundly uncomfortable. It is easier for them to respond by shouting angry insults than by researching facts and developing reasoned counter arguments. (Peyton R. Helm, president of Muhlenberg College - The Morning Call)


Make no mistake. We as a country are not accustomed to associating such power, RESPECT, and, yes, admiration with black men when it comes to "masculinity." No. Black men have been and continue to be depicted as the absolute opposite of "masculinity" . . . the antithesis to the qualities that we associate with the "hero" the "white knight" . . . the COMMANDER IN CHIEF. Indeed, black men have been the perpetual "other" to the traditional, white, imagery most often associated with responsible "masculine" leadership.

It's what I meant when I wrote:

Thank you for giving voice to the concept that black men do have a voice. Too often, society convinces us that black men have nothing to say. In fact, it seems that the only time a black man is expected to speak is if he’s on the pulpit, in a rap video, in a sports locker-room or at a court arraignment. Well, not anymore! For the next four year’s this country will have a front-row seat to black intellect. And many Americans will sit in awe as they learn that a black man can, not only speak in full sentences, but can also speak (even better, lead) on matters of war and peace, foreign and domestic policy, the economy, health care, the law . . . the list goes on and on.

And finally, thank you, Mr. President for showing young black men another option in life. My hope is that they’ll learn to see that your excellence is not rare. My hope is that you’re historic victory sparks our young black men to seek out the black lawyers, doctors, teachers and community organizers in their own neighborhoods. . . that they might learn from the entrepreneurs in their neighborhood. . . . that they might learn from the hardworking, blue collar black men that are often overlooked by society, but still find a way to take care of and provide for their families. . . that they might go to their local library and learn of the great achievements of men who look just like they do; a history rich in intelligence and leadership. (B-Serious, "Oh, the Possibilities . . . Obama and Black Men.")


It's a hard shell to crack, but it's beginning to crack nonetheless. And as Mr. Helm suggests, the shrill, whiny, paranoid incoherence of the fringe elements of our society is just another example of the fear some have at the realization that they've lost control of what they thought was theirs and only theirs to enjoy . . . the American Identity.

Perhaps that's the driving force behind those who question his citizenship or those who whine "I want my country back." It is the belief (subconscious or otherwise) that a black man in such a position of power and respect is so . . . "foreign" . . . so . . . "unAmerican."

So, why the inherent distrust? Why the presumption of malicious intent? The conspiracy theories? The threats?

It's about reification. It's the fact that history has long held that the least among us might share in the American dream so long as they could identify with the leading class. . . so long as the powerless might make concrete that which for them is the abstract concept of "power."

Such has been the cycle of the powerless and the powerful in American politics. And though social status, class and gender have always divided the haves from the have-nots, there is one common denominator that has allowed the social stratification to persist despite the lack of a tangible benefit to the latter group at the expense of the former. . . RACE. Poor whites have a history of siding against their own interest for the fear that someone else might get what they themselves never had. So, instead of coalition politics, it's easier to rant against a welfare society, fear Willie Horton, and shame the welfare queen. . .so long as the object of such contempt has black skin. For "those people," some say, are not like "us." "They" deserve to be where they are. "They" are lazy. "They" are uneducated. "They" are irresponsible. . . unlike "us" who pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.

But now????

See, reification is the concept of vicariously realizing upward mobility and success through someone else's experience. However, what throws some people for a loop is that, for the first time, our nation's understanding of success, power and leadership is being realized through a Black experience in the White House.

It's hard to live vicariously through someone else. Some might say it's unnatural. And to those who wilt at the thought of this powerful black man speaking to your children . . . for those who faint at the fact that young white children (in fact, all children) continue their ADMIRATION for the office of the presidency despite it's darker hue . . . for anyone who cringes at the idea of TRUSTING someone who neither looks like them nor shares their specific background to make such important decisions about their lives . . .

I say "Welcome to the club". Black folk have been doing it for centuries. Don't worry . . . it'll be alright!

This is not to say that all criticism of Obama is driven by race. It is not to say that all who oppose the President are racist (though, the media should do a better job at confronting those who are). However it is to say that this president is reshaping our preconceived notions of what it means to be a "man" in our society. We finally have a counterbalance. For all of the negative imagery we see, there is and will always be the counterbalancing image of this president. And this imagery . . . this daily infusion of the "other" in a position of power, challenges us as a nation to reacess our preconceived notions that have kept so many from powerful positions simply because they did not look the part or fit the script.

This is not about politics. This is not to say that racism is an exclusive trait of the left or right (it is what it is and it comes from all sides). Rather, this is about the future potential that might be realized now that young black boys and girls have seen one of their own achieve the highest, most influential . . . most powerful office in the world. And that scares the hell out of some people. Do NOT be fooled by their false bravado and belligerence.

It scares the hell out of the weak.

It scares the hell out of the vulnerable.

It scares the hell out of the ignorant.

Sorry folks, but Obama is just the beginning.

Oh, the possibilities.

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U.S. Supreme Court to address issue of race in jury composition



There's an interesting case coming out of the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals. The defendant, an African-American male, was tried and convicted of murder by an all white jury. Even more, only 6% of the jury pool was African-American despite the fact that blacks comprise 18% of the city where the crime happened.

According to the Detroit Free Press, the 6th Circuit reversed the conviction on the grounds that the Kent County jury selection process systematically excluded minorities from the jury pool.

Seems to make sense, right?

Well, the Michigan Attorney General thought otherwise, prompting him to issue a challenge to the U.S. Supreme Court on the argument that the 6th Circuit overstepped its bounds as a federal authority meddling into matters of the state.

Yup . . . sounds like a "states rights" argument, which doesn't make blacks feel all warm and fuzzy inside when it comes to matters of race in America.

via The Detroit Free Press:
(by John Wisely, Free Press Staff Writer)

Robert Sedler, a constitutional law professor at Wayne State University in Detroit, said the case likely will turn more on the issue of state court rights than on the facts of Smith's case.

Sedler said that under a 1996 law, the Anti-Terrorism and Effective Death Penalty Act, federal courts hearing appeals of state court convictions are supposed to defer to state courts unless those courts engage in an unreasonable application of federal law.


There's more to the story. You can read the rest here.

Pay attention to this one.

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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Obama Talks to 60 Minutes


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Friday, September 11, 2009

President Obama Presses Congress for Health Care Reform

"We did not come to fear the future. We came here to shape it."

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy


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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Parallel Frustrations: A Follow Up to "The Conversation"

Teen Couple Lounging



In reviewing Hill Harper's new book, The Conversation, I highlighted two observations that seemed quite powerful in their relevance to the discussion:


Harper goes through great lengths to convey what black men and women are looking for in a relationship. The answers vary, but two requests, in particular, were quite poignant:

1. Black men have a desire to feel NEEDED; and
2. Black women have a desire to be TAKEN SERIOUSLY

And before the cynics attack such requests as being unearned - hold it right there! Harper does an excellent job of focusing the spotlight on successful black relationships . . . relationships that are built by men and women who don’t fit the stereotype . . . relationships that take time and cooperation to build. Harper makes it clear that these men and women are the norm, NOT the exception, and that, as such, they deserve the respect they seek.

Perhaps my interest stems from a conversation I had some years ago on the message boards of Essence.com. IF we were to strip away our false bravado and allow our vulnerabilities to come through, we might find that much of our anguish stems from a desire for validation from one another as black men and women.

I happened to have saved my post from that conversation. It deals with certain insecurities we demonstrate that stem from a long history of racial baggage and the struggle to juxtapose traditionally white standards of "success," "masculinity" and "femininity" with black skin. As you'll see, I think this sets an easy trap for black men and women to engage in flawed (if not tortured) logic. It becomes a process through which we begin to accept and internalize negative stereotypes about each other.


Here it is . . .let the conversation continue:


I've read your comments a couple of times and I'm struck by parallels that exist between black men and women. . . The following is how I see the black male/female conflict in general (sans kids, deadbeat dads, baby mama drama, etc.)….

The way I see it, black men and women both share similar levels of frustration. The difference, however, is that we tend to seek fulfillment in two different manners. Black women have a strong desire to feel APPRECIATED. Black men, on the other hand, have a strong desire to feel NEEDED. This is consistent with many of the complaints that we've seen in this discussion.

A black woman's desire for appreciation is fulfilled through reciprocation...a "real man" must reciprocate her similar tastes, drive, goals, and even professional aspirations. This is a search for empathy. A black woman demands that her man possess the ability to RELATE to what she wants out of life. This is clear cut…”either you’ve got plans for your life, or you don’t.” Thus you'll see some women assume that love can be predicated upon objective standards (this constant discussion of "standards") such as profession and education. She thinks, “This is proof/documentation that this man has been where I've been and is headed where I'm going.” “Lead, follow, or get out of the way!”

The black woman's frustration and ultimate disappointment with the black man comes when she feels that she cannot relate to him. Why? Well, she feels that he lacks the capacity to reciprocate...he lacks the degree, drive, experience, goals, etc. Even worse, he lacks the simple DESIRE to reciprocate. This is depressing. The black woman thinks, "Surely, if there is anyone who would share my drive and passion, it should be a black man." Yet it is his LACK of drive that disgusts her and plants the seed of doubt in her mind that there are any good black men.

Black men, on the other hand, ultimately want to feel NEEDED. Status is of less importance here. In fact, one might feel more "manly" if his wife/girlfriend is of a lesser status than he because that increases the chance that she will need him (an unfortunate hang-up considering the upward mobility of black women). NEED feeds the male ego like APPRECIATION feeds the female ego. We’ve all heard this before: “A man needs to feel like he’s THE MAN.”

A black man's desire to feel needed is fulfilled through SUPPORT. I am not talking about financial support, but emotional support - a support so strong, it can be called loyalty. The black man looks at the world as a constant assault. Yet he’d happily die, a soldier for the cause, if he knew he were fighting to preserve the undying loyalty of his woman. Above all, at the end of the day, he needs to know that he and his wife/girlfriend are ON THE SAME TEAM. “I need a ride or die chick!”

The black man’s frustration and ultimate disappointment with the black woman comes when he views her as competition, rather than an ally. Why? Well, he feels that she doesn’t “support” him. Yeah, she’ll “loan” a brotha $20. She’ll care for the children and help keep a home (all of this, which he foolishly overlooks). But she’ll never say that she NEEDS a man in her life. Never. More specifically, she’ll never say she NEEDS A BLACK MAN in her life. Quite the opposite, the black man is bombarded with message after message…book after book…talk show after talk show of black women ranting about their trifling, no good, deadbeat, no-job-having, poor excuse for a man. This is depressing. The black man thinks, “Surely, if there is anyone who would proclaim her need for me, it should be a black woman.” Yet, ironically, it is her bravado that disgusts him and plants the seed of doubt in his mind that there are any good black women.

Yet the parallel still exists…black men and women both searching for VALIDATION from each other (although neither side will ever admit it). Both equally stubborn, yet equally fragile in the context of their BRUISED EGOS. Most importantly, these bruised egos are fueled by an envy for what other races seemingly have. The grass always looks greener on the other side doesn’t it?

Furthermore, our definitions of masculinity and femininity are trapped in and obsessed with white traditional standards. Take the black woman’s desire for appreciation: This desire, in certain ways, is an envy for the “Cult of True Womanhood” – the traditional view of gender relationships that placed white women on a pedestal to be admired (admiration often confused for being the ultimate APPRECIATION). Of course, history tells us that this concept has its pitfalls. The Cult of True Womanhood was truly more oppressive than uplifting. However, some black women become fixated on what white women have…the IMAGE of success. She wants what the white woman has….yet everything she sees screams that she was NEVER meant to have it.

Now look at the black man’s desire to feel needed: This desire is, in many ways, an envy (a lust) for the white, alpha male concept of masculinity. It is the traditional role…man is king of his castle…father knows best, etc. No one makes a decision without his approval, not because he won’t allow them to do so, but because his input is NEEDED – valued at such a high premium so as to make things almost impossible to accomplish without his influence. He is their leader and they support him as such. Some black men become fixated with the IMAGE of support. He wants what the white man has….yet everything he sees screams that he was NEVER meant to have it.

Not surprisingly, after centuries of obsession with and submission to white standards, black men and women both flirt heavily with the notion that they can only find happiness with white mates – that there is an endemic character flaw within us as black folk that prevents us from ever realizing happiness through new standards that we create for ourselves.

Black men and women, both with similar stigmas – an almost mirrored history of negative stereotypes related to sexuality, education and HUMANITY – wanting that special validation that we’ve been trained to deny each other since we first stepped on these shores as slaves.


Just some food for thought.

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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Book Review: Hill Harper’s “The Conversation”

The Conversation
By Hill Harper
Published by Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2009


“I am calling this book The Conversation because my hope is that these words that originate with me at my laptop will find their way to the book in your hands, pushing you and inspiring you to talk with your friends and families. I hope eventually to extend that dialogue across the barricades that men and women have erected to protect themselves from each other. We are growing jaded, cynical, tired, and world-weary before our time. We are expecting less and demanding less, and those lower expectations are making us unfulfilled and taking us farther from each other. The walls between us do not serve us.”

- Hill Harper, The Conversation (excerpt from Introduction)


The actor and scholar has come out with his third book. This time Hill Harper focuses on the state of the Black family, particularly the impact of the state of communication (or lack thereof) between black men and women on black love. I got an advanced copy and it doesn’t disappoint. This is one book to put on your reading list for the Fall.

Before getting into the purpose behind Hill Harper’s new book perhaps we should take a hint from one of his past movies. A small, seemingly insignificant, scene from a 1997 independent movie called Hav Plenty sets the table for many of the issues in Harper‘s new book.

Roughly five minutes into the film the protagonist, Lee Plenty (Christopher Scott Cherot), makes eye-contact with a beautiful black woman at a gas station. Just as she enters her car, Lee catches her attention, flashes a cheesy grin and waves at the sistah. Her response? Well, let’s just say it’s not so kind. In a brief yet heavy moment of contemplation the woman casts her glance downward only to look back at Lee in complete disgust. In one smooth yet dismissive motion her eyes roll to the back of her head. . . indeed, so far back that they cause her neck to follow suit. The message is clear: goodbye opportunity, hello could shoulder. Lee’s left with a confused look on his face as the audience hears the woman‘s car drive off in the distance. . . End scene.

This scene is symbolic of a thousands similar situations where black men and women operate from a position of distrust and low expectations of each other. Both Lee and the woman had sized each other up in a matter of seconds. Blame it on racial stereotypes. . . blame it on sexual politics . . . blame it on sheer ignorance, but for whatever reason that 10 second scene encapsulates a disturbing pattern that exists amongst parts of our community. At issue is the cultivation of distrust between black men and women. At issue is the lack of productive and healthy communication between black men and black women. And these are just a few of the issues Hill Harper tries to tackle in The Conversation.


This is a DISCUSSION, NOT a lecture:

Harper stays true to the title of the book. What he presents is an actual conversation. Harper, for the most part, stays clear of lecturing the audience. He doesn’t claim to be an expert in relationships, nor does he hold himself out as a spokesperson for all black men. No. What you see is what you get. And what you get is an honest, rather introspective look at the state of black relationships through the eyes of one man who is more than willing to admit to his fair share of mistakes and lessons learned along the way. He applies the advice and tough love he receives to challenge old habits as a new love interest comes into the picture. The evolution of Harper as he opens up to the possibilities before him serves as an example of how a healthy relationship challenges us to be better people.

And props also go out to Harper for keeping an honest discussion. This is a book where BOTH sides get their say. It’s not just a bunch of women pointing the finger at men for failed relationships or men blaming women for their own insecurities. To the contrary, Harper draws from the experiences of his male and female friends to share their thoughts on the state of black love. In fact, there are chapters where Harper simply yields the floor to his friends. The women have their chance to speak and so do the men. And, with the exception of a few predictable (if not bitter comments), both sides do an admirable job of tackling the issues from a shared space: to build WITH each other rather than tear each other down.

What happens in the process is quite telling. In a society where black men and women often speak past each other, the interviews in Harper’s book actually reveal how black men and women are on the same wavelength when it comes to evaluating the obstacles to black love. Both black women AND men express a lack of appreciation from the opposite sex. Both black women AND men cite friendship as a must in any strong relationship. And both black women AND black men reference their grandparents and past generations as providing a strong example for healthy relationships.

However the points where black men and women differ are also quite significant. Harper goes through great lengths to convey what black men and women are looking for in a relationship. The answers vary, but two requests, in particular, were quite poignant:

1. Black men have a desire to feel NEEDED; and
2. Black women have a desire to be TAKEN SERIOUSLY

And before the cynics attack such requests as being unearned - hold it right there! Harper does an excellent job of focusing the spotlight on successful black relationships . . . relationships that are built by men and women who don’t fit the stereotype . . . relationships that take time and cooperation to build. Harper makes it clear that these men and women are the norm, NOT the exception, and that, as such, they deserve the respect they seek.

"We can chart a completely new course simply by choosing to speak to and about each other in new ways. Let’s commit to dragging [stereotypical comments] into the trash and pressing PERMANENT DELETE. Let’s eliminate the poison and residual negativity that such comments yield. . . Let’s commit to publicly ‘checking,’ or stopping, someone from engaging in that kind of speech." (Harper, 40)


The levels of commitment and trust necessary to build each other up rather than tear each other down are reocurring themes throughout the book. Commitment, communication and trust (as generic as they may sound) are powerful messages when conveyed in the context of black couples who are giving their all to preserve the vows they made to each other.

Indeed, Harper’s book is predicated upon the belief that black men and women can chart a NEW path. It is a challenge to us as a black community to do away with the temptation to cave to the very worst of stereotypical beliefs about ourselves and our partners. It’s a call to check the baggage at the door and be open to the possibility that a strong and healthy black relationship has to offer.


Things to consider for future conversations:

Harper’s book is a thought-provoking read that challenges it’s audience to rise above the petty back-and-forth that has stigmatized black love for generations. However, Harper admits that this book is just the beginning. The book presents a long list of topics and the author is limited in how much he can discuss in 270 pages.

Harper also makes an excellent argument to challenge the superficial assumptions of black men and women that place a priority on status over potential. He makes a persuasive argument that focusing on concerns such as earning capacity (as a standard to judge black men) and physical beauty (as a standard to judge black women) are foolish because both are not guaranteed to last forever. As such, Harper warns that a person whose status says one thing, could meet an entirely different fate tomorrow. One could lose his or her job (especially, might I add, in this economy) and/or gain 30-40 pounds only to be deemed less worthy as a mate by such superficial standards.

However, the book might have been better served if Harper spent even more time attacking many of these stereotypical assumptions head on. There are a lot of statistics that are frequently used to demean black men and women as being poor marriage material. This might be particularly relevant in Harper's discussion regarding interracial dating and the assumption that there are no good black men. Harper’s conversation would benefit from a more developed contextualization of such statistics to hammer the point home for black men and women: It’s about character, not the superficial.

Another area that could have used more discussion is Harper’s conversation about safe sex and STD prevention. Harper cites some pretty startling statistics (e.g., 1 in 4 African-Americans are believed to have genital herpes) that would greatly benefit from further elaboration and analysis. Left as is, such statistics can do more to discourage an unenlightened audience about the prospects of dating black men and women than help. Such serious matters (including Harpers brief discussion of domestic violence) could serve as launching points for a new conversation altogether.

It should also be noted that there are different types of relationships that aren't necessarily covered in the book. Gay and Lesbian relationships are another area that could use some attention in future conversations.

Finally, it would have been nice to have seen Harper allow a female acquaintance (perhaps one of the women with whom he conducted his research) give a “tough love” speech to black women as he did with black men. Harper dedicates an entire chapter to encouraging black men to “Man Up” when it comes to their responsibilities to family and the women in their lives. However, the importance of this message goes only as far as both black men and women understand that they are empowered to better their own circumstances. The choices we make have consequences that are not dismissed by way of gender. We must be as serious in confronting the poor decisions of some women as we are in confronting the poor actions of some black men. Both are essential in breaking the vicious cycle attacking black relationships.


Reclaiming a sense of self . . . Reclaiming a sense of commitment:

Harper does an excellent job in addressing just how we’ve failed to communicate as husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, friends and lovers. The Conversation will hopefully encourage readers to be more self-reflective and less accusatory. The common sense approach throughout most of the book; the reocurring question, "Would you date yourself?"; and the challenge to look at oneself in the mirror before making demands of your partner. . .

All of this works to shift the focus from a constant battle where black men and women anticipate and expect confrontation to a constructive environment where we can come together and rebuild our commitment to one another.

Even more, this goes beyond romantic relationships. The respect and admiration one shows towards his or her spouse might be a building block from which we can improve our relationships with our children; where we can serve as positive role models for younger generations; and where we can sustain (if not recapture) a sense of community that had been passed down from generations before us.


Where Do We Go From Here?:

In the end, it’s the little things that count. And much like our example from Hav Plenty, we need to check our presumptions at the door and be humble enough to realize that we don't have the right to prejudge our brothas and sistahs based on past relationships or common stereotypes.

In the case of black male/female relationships those “little things” are often used as a substitute for the hard work of gaining an appreciation and understanding of the opposite sex. After all, the hassles of engaging in meaningful conversation; the art of respecting your partner’s vulnerabilities; the challenge of measured response; and the gift that is building a strong foundation . . . .all of these things are so 20th Century, aren‘t they?

At least, that's what we're lead to believe. Let’s face it. In the time it takes to read this review you could create a profile on one of a thousand different Internet dating sites. There’s no need to think. No need to challenge or have someone else challenge your views of the world. Indeed, there’s no need to grow as an individual. No, the challenges of past relationships are handled from the comfort of one’s own computer. We can tailor our love interests based upon our subjective and quite superficial ideas (however mistaken they may be) of a “successful” relationship. Age? Height? Weight? Education? These are all no more than mere clicks on a website.

And as for those rare occasions when we’re forced to engage the opposite sex without a safety net? No need to fear. We’ve got blogs, vlogs, magazine articles and tell-all books designed with the purpose of spoon feeding us exactly what we want to hear about the opposite sex. . .

Things like:

“Don’t worry, girl, we all know n*ggas ain’t sh*t anyway . . .”

Or . . .

“Man, you know you can’t trust these gold diggin’ black women with their nasty attitudes.”

Ever take a walk on the dark side of YouTube? Ever get lost in the endless sea of negativity that is the blogosphere? Indeed we’ve created a culture where negativity is the standard. We’ve created an environment that feeds off of despair and even profits from this sick game where black men and women take turns in seeing who can one-up the other in a contest of outright disrespect, lies and distortions about the other.

Cultivated by real life disappointments . . . emboldened by an undercurrent of victim-politics our community has played host to industries built on name-calling, finger-pointing and an indoctrination to do whatever is in our capacity to HURT each other as black men and women.

What’s left is a complete breakdown in communication between black men and black women.

Some say it’s just calling ‘em how they see ‘em. Others feign a disingenuous cover of empowerment politics. But the results are still the same. Black men and women go to their respective corners. They let the anger and frustration fester amongst themselves. And both sides construct a reality wherein the opposite sex has no value nor place of respect amongst those who talk the loudest.

But where is the CONVERSATION? Where is the back and forth that doesn’t devolve into personal rants of failed relationships, cheating spouses, “no-good men” and “baby-mama drama”?

Well, Hill Harper is having that conversation. And THE CONVERSATION is long overdue. Harper’s book demonstrates just how much black men and women can accomplish when they work as a TEAM instead of enemies.

"It's a courageous, smile-filled realization that we create our own reality. It's a conscious awareness that every time someone says, 'There are no good_____ out there,' we respond with an energized, openhearted smile and say, 'That's not true. There are plenty of really great_____ out there for me!' Believe it! Know it! Create it! Claim it!" (Harper, 259)



Let The Conversation begin . . .

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